Making Friends.

Ignoring the Language Barrier.

The French refer to it as ‘l’insertion’ in the UK it is called ‘integration’ and in spite of the term conjuring up a melting pot of different cultures, religions, race and ethics; in practice it is all about ‘making friends.”

Whether you live in the same society all your life or travel from one continent to another we all come in contact with other people we like or less likely (from my own experience)  dislike. The language may be different, the faces are different, the sights, sounds and smells around you are different, but people still have a need to communicate with other people. Bearing that in mind it is relatively easy to make friends and acquaintances regardless of whether you are able to speak French a little or not at all. The French are very accommodating in this respect and patiently listen while we stumble awkwardly over the pronunciations of their words.

None of that matters; it is not about how well you perform it is the taking part that counts.  A simple act of taking a walk and saying ‘Bonjour’ to the neighbours you pass will produce the same results as in the UK when you take the time to say ‘Hello’. There is every chance you will be invited for an aperitif around four o’clock in the afternoon, this takes the form of a whisky, wine or in the case of farmers; home made cider or calvados. Do not overstay your welcome; an hour is enough, especially in the case of farmers who have cows to milk. Although you will be forgiven if you loose track of time as it will depend on the potency of what you are given to drink.

One of the most pleasant ways to get to know people is to join in a local activity, this has a knock-on effect. Not only have you met other people with a shared interest but they have met you too and the French have a lovely way of never ignoring someone they have met. Wherever you go after that initial encounter you will find someone who will recognise you, kiss you courteously on both cheeks and introduce you to whoever they are with.

‘La randonnée’ walking, (although it can also refer to hiking, horse riding, cycling and other pursuits depending on the context), is a pastime that a lot of retired people adopt due to the pleasant social side. There can be nothing more conducive to making acquaintances than walking in the beautiful countryside with friendly people.

Another activity enabling “l’insertion” which is very popular for all ages and found in nearly every village is ‘Breton Dancing’.  This is an excellent way of breaking the ice as the French double-up laughing at your antics but it is worth persevering as this activity is guaranteed to boost your social life.  Besides which, the effort and energy required to perform the dances will demonstrate to you how fit and energetic our Gallic neighbours truly are.  

If you are intending to work in France of course, the social interaction is all the greater and the requirement to speak French increases which can in the fullness of time, be an advantage. The two hour lunch-break provides a chance to relax and enjoy the main meal of the day in a civilised manner and an ideal time to get to know your colleagues. Most employers in France provide lunch vouchers for their employees; which is a circuitous way of complimenting the salaries and there is a tendency in France to eat the main meal of the day at midday, and unlike their British counterparts,  they do not ‘graze’ in between meals. That is why you will notice restaurants, (particularly noticeable in rural areas such as Brittany) only open from noon to two o’clock then close until seven o’clock in the evening.

“Le Bar”, comes the closest to the “local pub” but the British pub is uniquely British and this is France and “Le Bar” reflects Frenchness; and quite rightly so. As well as serving wine and other alcoholic and none-alcoholic drinks at lunch-time they often serve salads, filled baguettes and ‘croque Monsieur or croque Madame’; depending on whether you add an egg to your ham and cheese on toast. Try sitting at a table outside ‘à la terrasse’ with a cool drink in summer with your French friends and put the world to rights.

I hope I have managed to encourage the usually reticent Brits from avoiding contact with their potential new French friends, because it would be all too easy to do so, because you are undoubtedly going to bump into other Brits seeking the same lifestyle.  

After all, you don’t have to make the effort to say hello to your neighbours, you could just jump in your car to go to the village, grunt a few syllables when you buy your baguette and go home again. What a terrible waste of the opportunity to experience the blank stare of the proprietor of the village bakery when she doesn’t understand a word you say. Or the visit to the doctors due to your migraine headaches and finding your prescription turns out to be a large quantity of suppositories. Even worse, the visit to the dentist to remove a crown and she attacks your tender molar with what feels like a sledgehammer and you can’t remember the words in French for Pain! Agony! or just plain ‘I am going to another dentist!’

There are more advantages to making French friends than I can highlight here. But I would like to reiterate what I said earlier, people have a need to communicate with other people so, on that basis, just say “Bonjour”.

Comments

[Anne]

I think you meant "l'assimilation" which is one step after "l'integration"... French socio-political terms.

"L'insertion" has more to do with getting back into mainstream society (having been or being a social outcast, eg., convicts,).